The David Bowie Conundrum: Social Media Militants and why none of you ain't Shit.

This morning I found my friends list approximately 170 pounds lighter. One of my friends, that I've spoken to (off and on), for the past two years unfriended me. 

Why? 

Well, I happen to like the music of David Bowie. 

As you may have heard, just a few days ago, David Bowie died. I was taken aback being that I've always been a casual fan of Bowie's. So, whenever I like something, I tend to take the time and share it on MY TIMELINE with my friends. It was a show of love and support for the fallen rock star (who is not legendary).

Well, this insipid cow felt it prudent (not even 24 hours after Bowie's death) to inform me that, back in the 1970's, David Bowie had sex with a 16-year-old groupie (at the time David Bowie was 20. At the time rock and roll groupies were as common as electric guitars onstage) and was basically, her words, "A rapist child molester who does not deserve to be lionized" by me or anyone else for that matter.

::Insert confused Scooby Doo face here::

First of all I had no clue that David Bowie slept with a teenager (As I stated before I am a casual fan. I don't follow him enough to know his sexual inclinations back in the 1970's), one (for all of my life he's been with Iman).

Two, unlike Bill Cosby supporters, I know how to differentiate between the artist and his product (MAJOR distinction. No, I am no fan of statutory rape; however, Bowie's art--which I find completely brilliant and hold in high regard--was made for the masses to enjoy).

Three, where in the hell were all of you when Bowie had a thriving career (for the past 30 years)? How is it now that he's dead he's gone from avant garde glam rock star to pedophile child rapist/predator who locks little girls in dungeons in the span of 24 fucking hours? Seriously, where in the hell do you people come from? He's dead and now, suddenly, he's this monster that NO ONE should be able to identify with simply because YOU said so?

The shit wasn't making any sense to me whatsoever...

All I said was, "No, I was completely unaware that David Bowie had sex with an underage girl. However, while I don't approve of that I still enjoy and celebrate his music." 

It is that simple. 

No cognitive dissonance required.
If I based my enjoyment of an artist's work based on their personal lives then I would need to stop listening to music, period.
Yes, I despise R. Kelly and his kiddie diddling ways but if I hear "Honey Love" on the radio I am not going to turn the channel, trust. Roman Polanski did some terrible shit but "The Pianist" is still one of my favorite films. I still watch "Mighty Aphrodite" despite the fact that Woody Allen married his adopted daughter.
It is quite easy to divorce the genius from the madness.
The art is ours.
The pathology belongs to them.

That said...

I woke up to find that we were no longer friends. To that end I texted her a "nice" little note (It said, "Fuck you too. Bye." I am petty as fuck) and let that be a wrap.

But this isn't even about mine and her's "friendship." 

This will be about the type of person that she is, the type of person that I am sick and tired of coming across in the realm of Social Media (that I almost always invariably do).

Who is it you ask?

I am tired of these fraudulent ass Social Media Militants that play this ridiculous pseudo philosophical role of online social justice warrior in their WONDERFUL (yet horrifying) world of: intersectionality, oppression, identity politics, tone policing, and all of those other obnoxious social media militant buzz phrases that are supposed to emphasize the dire straits of the oppressed and tell the so called "privileged" to "check themselves." Basically, ANYONE can fit into this designation, anybody. You can have the tip of your index finger severed and be considered a disenfranchised minority that comes complete with your own buzz words and specific concerns. I despise people like this, completely. And it is always my luck that they befriend me thinking that I am one of them.

Granted, I am all about calling out discrimination and inequality. I occupy my own intersectional space as well (Black, Gay, Atheist, and Geeky, hello?). And I am more than capable of letting people know that, "Hey, what you said is completely inappropriate and offensive to me as a _____" if they are in the wrong.
Racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, and various other isms are an unfortunate part of our reality. We are constantly in a fight against them, which is why I teach people how they need to treat me (if they want ANYTHING to do with the subject of me).
The people who are willing to embrace that and learn from the experience are those whom I like to stick around. 

The other people? 

Well, they can go about their merry way. I also realize that not everyone is a horrible person, some of them simply don't know any better. Change is a daunting task but if the individual is making the effort, and I was the unwitting catalyst for that, then I am flattered.

I lead my life this way AND in the realm of social media. Who I am online is who you will meet offline, period. I don't just talk about it. I AM about it.

These other niggas?
These online social justice warriors who probably won't utter a peep about half the shit they talk on these outlets are a whole other story entirely...

For the Social Media Militant there is no redemption for ANYBODY!

Do not pass go.

Do not collect two hundred dollars.

In their eyes you are the enemy if you even make a typographical error that looks like an affront to them. Everything is a trigger phrase. Everything is a personal slight. Everything is a fucking think piece waiting to be born.

"Cotton Candy offends me as a militant homosexual Nerf Herder" by Militant Homosexual Nerf Herder, The Huffpo)

If you are not one of them (Basically, if you don't fit into the exact same intersectional identity and possess a dire worldview) then you are their enemy, period. Even a slight difference of opinion is taken as an affront to their person-hood. Everything hinges on you being sensitive to every single aspect of their person hood or else you risk being "drug" by them and their acolytes (the hangers on who act as the chorus to their madness).

"By celebrating David Bowie's art you are enforcing rape culture!" (No I'm not. I like his music. I don't support a rape culture by doing that. Statutory rape, bad. Moonage Daydream, one of the greatest songs ever written).

"You are Triggering me!" (If you can have a nervous breakdown from posts online then social media is not the place for you. That's a whole other therapy session)

"If you don't agree with me then I have no use for you!" (I bet you won't say that to anyone else outside of your online collection of bodies...excuse me, "Friends")

And so on and so forth...

I always fall out with these niggas, always. I finally know why now. I know that the world is nuanced. I know that there is no such thing as all or nothing. There are shades of gray and not everything is either or. That is not real life. And I pride myself on being a realist.
When I hear people speaking in absolutes all I see is them swimming in their cramped little fishbowl that they concocted for themselves within the realm of social media. 

Yes, I am quite aware that we need these spaces where we can simply go and be ourselves (I support forums that cater to niche groups. Everyone needs somewhere to belong. We are not as original as we like to pretend to be). However, when it is to the point where you cannot see beyond those parameters then what good are you to ANYONE (well except sitting alone to nurse your narcissism)?

Hearkening back on this I am glad she unfriended me. I don't think I could possibly stand to be around someone that impossibly: stupid, myopic, narcissistic, and self centered.

To that end I am sick and tired Social Media Militants and the inanity that they bring to the online community.

Anyway...

Here is how to spot one...

• #BlackLivesMatter is all over their FB page. You gotta have the hashtag to let everyone know you are down (when in actuality you won't catch these niggas in the street. Too busy taking selfies and pretending to be about the cause).
• Their whole life centers around their intersections. You can't meet them at the stop sign even if you pulled up in Metro Bus.
• They say "Intersection" or "Intersectionality" at least three to four times in a sentence.
• You're a misogynist if you think a woman's dress is ugly.
• You're a transaphobe if you hate Caitlyn Jenner.
• You're enforcing black hetero-normative patriarchal values if you think Jaden Smith looks hideous in a dress.
• You gotta look the part too, like you just came back from an Afropunk festival. No fade or perm. You gotta be all natural.
• You must loathe Beyonce (seeing as she wears blond extensions and has a lot of money).
• You support a rape culture if you happen to bop along to R. Kelly's "Ignition" when it comes on the radio.
• If you don't agree with them you are a: rape culture supporting, heteronormative, patriarchal, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, pedophile, and all around horrible person.
• If you aren't maudlin and wallowing in the misery of the discrimination that your intersection creates then they hate you, period.

Seriously though?

As I've said before I am going to keep my eyes peeled for these fools because I am not investing my time or conversation in another one of them.

Yes, I am a Black Gay Atheist Man in America; however, my physical identity is not the sum of all my parts. And I refuse to view life solely within the context of my tapestry of identities.

Prince Todd.

P.S.

And don't you EVER get on my timeline and tell ME what I can and cannot post, ever.

Gay Men and Xtianity: I don't understand it...

Last weekend I tuned into the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) network because I had absolutely nothing else better to do (Seriously, with the exception of all those Tyler Perry soaps I find absolutely nothing redemptive about OWN. And if you know me you will know I dislike Tyler Perry passionately...so it is saying a lot that "The Haves and The Have Nots" is my go to show on OWN). However, it was the season premiere of "Iyanla Fix My Life" and the topic was about closeted Gay Black Pastors dealing with their stuff (i.e. emotional, psychological, and sexual stuff). Needless to say I sat down my clicker and got some pop corn...

Essentially, the nuts and bolts of the premiere episode (aside from Oprah and Iyanla milking the myth of the black down low boogie man for everything it is worth, again. I'm surprised there wasn't a special guess appearance from J.L. King) was about two black pastors on the brink of insanity due to the juxtaposition of their homosexuality again their southern baptist leanings. One of these girls literally (and I do mean literally) fell over into bed, completely immobile, whilst wailing and gnashing his teeth. Chile, Iyanla had to put on her best Prissy from "Gone With The Wind" and pretend like she knew something about birthing babies. She had to put a towel over his head and everything because the brother was just broken. All the years of deception and cognitive dissonance had finally hit him like falling piano. I legit felt sorry for him, seriously. To see someone break under that strain and pressure is altogether pitiful.

Now, speaking only for myself, I am an Atheist (Google it. It doesn't mean I worship Satan because I don't believe in him either). I've been an Atheist for approximately the past ten years. Naturally, I felt some revulsion for the content and subject matter.

On the one hand I found this episode relateable simply because, as a Black Gay Man myself, I grew up in an African American fundamentalist Southern Baptist household. Trust and believe (and not by choice) that I was in church three days a week and twice on Sunday (for early service and late service). 

I was in youth group. 

I was in the youth choir. 

I was in vacation Bible School for two weeks every summer.
I even took adult Bible class because everyone was so impressed by how super fundamentalist I was.

By the time I was 13 years old I was a good little drone for Jesus (a tiny Prince Toddy for Christ if you will). I had the religion force fed to me since the cradle (and probably earlier than that).
But of course, as we all know (and Iyanla said this in the piece), in the black community you can be anything you want to be. Just don't be Gay.
You can be a drug dealer.
You can be in and out of prison.
You can be a high school drop out.
You can have 15 kids with 12 baby mamas and two on the way but...
Just so long as you aren't kissing another man you are good, you can be redeemed.
You seriously can do anything pathological and detrimental to society and black folks will forgive you for it. But you say that you're gay? You will be fortunate to get out of the room alive.

Hearkening back...

So, while I was the christian Creme Dela Creme on the outside I was screaming on the inside.
My internal secret war against my sexual orientation would have put any Marvel reboot of The Infinity Gauntlet to shame. 

It was epic. 

It was almost tragic.
I spent my early adolescence and my teen years trying to make myself into a heterosexual (so jesus would wove me. ::sad pouty face here::). 

Retrospectively it was beyond pathetic. Therefore, to that end, I understood these men because I was one of them. However, now, watching this, my emotions are not nearly as palpable as they would have been 10 years ago.  Since I've lived a religion and god free life for all this time the concept of reconciling god with my sexuality seems like three lifetimes ago. Once, something so significant to me is no longer even a passing thought.
After freeing myself from religion, specifically Christianity, I found the freedom to cultivate my own identity. Now I revel in my sexuality. I can finally look in the mirror and not be burdened by guilt or shame simply because I am being who I was born to be, a black GAY man.

All of that said...

While I do understand I cannot accept the continued insistence of black gay men who tether themselves to Christianity, to the point of being psychologically bludgeoned because of it. I say this because I managed to escape. I allowed myself to face the realization that if I didn't make a change I'd be stuck playing into what everyone else believed that I should have been. In the end my wellness was much more important to me than an edict.

There are so many black gay men who are walking about: wounded, damaged, and defeated, but still clinging to jesus. Moreover, it isn't simply the insistence on adhering to religion insofar as Christianity, specifically, having absolutely nothing for you. As a matter of fact it admonishes you and everything that you are.  The bible is an anti gay document, period. You may cherry pick all you want to but that should not be good enough. All I needed to see was a single anti gay verse and know that, "You know what? I am so much better than this."

It is baffling to me how many of the biggest gay whores (giving away @$$ like chicken dinners at ATL pride) will quickly proclaim Christianity and admonish people like me who have no religion. It is maddening how so many black gay men will espouse the obligatory, "Your sin is no bigger than mine" cliche. Question: Why do you view your sexual orientation as a sin if you are affirmed in it? Answer: You are not. Moreover, the insistence on adhering to heterosexual norms and gender archetypes is all the more prevalent. Guys (and girls) those concepts do not have us in mind.  We are not included.


So, what will it take for us to really take a look at this religion, third person, and approach what it is doing to us?

Granted, I am not holding my breathe when it comes to black people and jesus. Slave massah gave us jesus and we refuse to let that nigga go. However, as black gay men, we have to reach some happy medium wherein we allow ourselves to be healthy individuals first and then make choices, religious or otherwise, about the role faith plays in our lives. We owe it to ourselves to be healthy and whole.

Anyway, I am going to watch the rest of that Iyanla Fix My Life episode.

Prince Todd.